LEE
PITTS
LESSONS
LEARNED
THOSE
STILL TO LEARN
The
FencePost.com, 15 March 2016:
Lee
Pitts has been writing a syndicated column for 35 yeas now.
Three
of those years her wrote a humor column under an assumed name
because
he didn't want to disgrace the family name. Before all this he
worked
for a livestock weekly news letter on contract trying to sell
cattle
advertising. He was not good at it. He wasn't a salesman.
Pitts
wanted to write, unfortunately, the publisher didn’t share
his
glowing opinion's of his writing skills. Pitts asked to be
editor but
a
plagiarist, a literary thief, an egomaniac was hired
What
the publisher didn't know was he was writing a column
titled
“ Grandfathers Collections “ written by the guy who couldn't
write.
For a while he worked as a free lance writer, so named because
that's
what you work for., free.
Over
the years, Pitts says he has known several writers who met
their
writing demise when they questioned the integrity of female steer
jocks,
the Hereford breed and a town in the Texas panhandle that has a
certain
odor as it is surrounded by several feedlots.
Now,
to be perfectly clear, Lee Pitts loves the Hereford breed and
the
town by the same name. He also happens to think the lady steer
jocks
are really “cool “ . He feels political correctness makes
it very
difficult
to be “funny “.
Funny things written often are offensive to small groups of
people. Like use 'rear end' to avoid the “A “ word.
Lee
was in trouble once for a title he did not write and was called
every
name in the book for an article written by a competitor but
he
never
lost a publication because of offensive writtings.
The
big reason he stays out of trouble is his wife of 43 years. She
reads
every word he writes. Poor girl. If she had not censored his
articles
he doubts he would still be in the business.
His
wife and he had the same number of English classes in school
but
her teachers must have been better teachers, or , maybe she paid
better
attention because she knows the rules. What is the difference
between
a split infinitive and a idiomatic expression. He had trouble
with
its and it's. Like is it Pitt's cow or is it Pitts' cow.
He
said his wife knows his audience better and has said “ the
ladies
in Nebraska aren't going to like this “. Remember they do not
care
for the “ A “ word even when referring to politicians or a
male
donkey.
Lee
feels it has been his experience that women in Nebraska have
exquisite
taste, extremely high morals and are exceptionally bright,
not
that the ladies in Indiana, New Mexico, Delaware and Florida
aren't.
He near dodged a bullet there. He says, repeat he says, to be
perfectly
clear he thinks all women are just like his wife, 200%
perfect
I every way.
That
my friends is how Lee Pttts has survived four decades
as
a columnist and husband.
Abstract:
11/21/18 by Harrison H., from The FencePost.com 2016.
